1. |
Defeated
03:31
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oh, calamity
these things I see are all I've ever known
but introspectively and honestly I've found myself alone
I've been looking for some guidance but it's hard to find
when everybody's eyes are closed
crash your car into my life
you cut through me life a knife
stealing every bit of pride
shredding all I had inside
but if I make it out and I'm still myself
would you hold me back
and tell me that you tried?
I trapped myself in a world of my design
holding on to petty apathy and grasping at the signs
telling me there's not an answer here or anything inside
there's no answer anywhere
I only have myself to blame
I've been losing the picture
and the exposure has lost its shade
if I follow the smoke trail
I just might make it home
there's a bitter taste to every blessing
I have ever owned
and it brings out
a thought less proud
I have lost my sense of worth
though I still drag myself along
but there's no solace in a second guess
when I thought was wrong
all the miles in the world
and I'm stuck in a halfway house
and I'm half way out
I trapped myself in a world of my design
holding on to petty apathy and grasping at the signs
telling me there's not an answer here or anything inside
there's no answer anywhere
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2. |
Entropy
04:49
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What’s the point of counting
encounters with the past
nostalgia has been gripping me
I’m slipping under fast
you have a strangle hold
on words you won’t give back to me
now I have to slowly learn
that there’s no cure for this entropy
I said goodbye and now I’m
faking a philosophy
and pretending that I’m right
to move along while I’ve been
tasting infidelity
but she’s telling me to look inside
and just remember that I
wasted all my time
professing love
abusing yours instead of mine
but we’re all shades of our resent
trying not to slip again
what’s the point of saying
you made a big mistake
I dreamed about you staying
up until I stirred awake
I have the slightest grip
on all of me you let behind
and I had to slowly learn
a piece of you can’t be my
peace of mind
I said goodbye and now I’m
faking a philosophy
and pretending that I’m right
to move along while I’ve been
tasting infidelity
but she’s telling me to look inside
and just remember that I
wasted all my time
professing love
abusing yours instead of mine
but we’re all shades of our resent
trying not to slip again
I can’t see
I can’t see at all
and I don’t want to know
where you’ve been or
where you’re going
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3. |
What I Am Without
01:59
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I've been looking at myself
and I can't reconcile who I am with what I am without
I've been closing my eyes every time I felt a struggle
Hoping I'd wonder back to places that I could see
but I know that this person is all, all I'll ever be.
I told myself that I'd be fine pretending
I could live without an ending
when I couldn't live you
I wished I had
a place where I could show myself I wouldn't disappear
but no I couldn't find it here.
I've been
walking down a line that leads away from what I know
I can't show myself
this hell is home but I can't tell
these regrets make it clear
I can't find myself if I stay here
I told myself that I'd be fine pretending
I could live without an ending
when I couldn't live you
I wished I had
a place where I could show myself I wouldn't disappear
but no I couldn't find it here.
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4. |
I Don't Need
02:30
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I am living life in past-tense regrets
Like all our days are secrets
Or stoplights casting silhouettes
But I can't see the distance between you and me
Is somehow understood
But the more there is the less I could
Bring myself to see you
Passing by on a busy street
Wondering "where are you going?"
And if you'd wonder about me
But I
I can't tell
Where we're going
I'm close to coming to an epiphany
That doesn't involve you
I keep on running
From this empty place you're running to
I can't stop myself from thinking
Or make my eyes keep blinking
When all my days are flying by
But you couldn't take
The hardest truth or cheapest fake
I somehow understand
That these broken ties can't hold my hands
Held up in surround, but I haven't got a clue
About which battles I should fight
And which ones to leave to you
But I
I can't tell
Where we're going
I'm close to coming to an epiphany
That doesn't involve you
I keep on running
From this empty place you're running to
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5. |
Thoughts in Score
02:30
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I'm not crazy, I'm just searching for a chance to make amends
I see your face in every place we've ever been
I'm wishing that I'd find you here somehow
But I know I won't
Somewhere down the line I found a way to let you go
And bury all we had in mounds of late September snow
I can't describe the way I left your photographs untouched.
I found your note pressed between the wall and the floorboard
Somehow in prestine condition
Among scraps of forgotten movie tickets and dust.
And I thought it best not to read
Because while the content may be forgotten
You unfortunately are not.
I left the store thinking of you and I drove by your house seventeen times pretending I was on my way home
Your car wasn't there
I shut off my engine the street
In the parking lot where we shared our first kiss
But I was alone
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6. |
Sometimes Things Change
03:59
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Remember when I told you, "You always take the easy way out"
I thought I'd let you know that
If I found a meaning here, or any purpose anywhere
I may have time to bicker over meaningless affairs
But I'm still
Somehow driving passed your house
Hoping you'll come out
And hardly recognize me
I thought staring at your driveway
It would somehow pull me in
And find a way to make me whole again
I had all these plans for you and me
Now I can't tell what the object is
Or how I'm supposed to be
I heard you say
That you can't find your way around it
I'm astounded, you can't keep your face
From showing you are trying too hard to go
But I can't help you
No, I can't help you
Remember when you told me I'm always blowing smoke around?
I figured I could show you
I have faith that I'll find meaning
You are certain I'm misleading
But everybody else can understand
The reasons I chose leaving
I am somehow searching for your car
But knowing where you are
Is still too much for me
I thought knowing you were lonely
It would somehow make me grin
And find a way to make me whole again
I had all these plans for you and me
Now I can't tell what the object is
Or how I'm supposed to be
I heard you say
That you can't find your way around it
I'm astounded, you can't keep your face
From showing you are trying too hard to go
But I can't help you
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